The Constant Rub

I walked in my bedroom to this and it brought with it a flurry of emotions. Zoya has spent time coloring and hanging her artwork for Curt and I.

Recently, I have been following numerous friends with heartaches.  One who birthed her precious stillborn boy only weeks before his due date.  One who is constantly battling cancer and other illness, as she raises her 3 children wondering if she will live to see them grow.  One whose son died at the age of 4 to cancer.  One who's son was born with a deformity that will never allow him to walk.

The "Constant Rub" is the frustrations of every day life and the 2x4 that hits you across the head to remind you of your amazing blessings.  Motherhood is a constant battle: not getting enough sleep, wanting to do "just one thing" without someone running up to you with a bleeding nose, wanting silence for 5 minutes, etc.  The irritability that plagues the day with these little people who are so needy (and the older ones who are emotionally unstable :)). Yes, I just want to go for a run whenever I want and not at nap time, which is smack in the middle of the hottest part of the day.  I want to do double workouts if I want, but can't because there is never enough time.  I want to have a quiet afternoon where I can sit around and read a book but when the quietness comes, that's when the work can get done! and the books sit on the shelf.  I want to wake up when I want, not because someone needs me at 6:15a.m.  I want to go to bed when I want, not rushing to sleep because I know someone needs me at 6:15a.m.

But.

BUT.

But.  I have 6 healthy children.  They do well in school and are often helpful and well behaved.  I have kids who are physically healthy and can run around, makes messes and create things. I have kids who are mentally healthy and can have real relationship with Curt and I.  I have healthy, happy kids.

And today, that is hitting home.  Yes, never getting to drink a cup of hot coffee is a tragedy but I will take it if it comes with the chaos of a kid-filled home.

Thai preschool, where we spend 3 mornings/week

The special needs orphanage we go to to play with the kids

Carmen helping a college student who takes care of our yard.  He is like an older brother to Carmen.