Messed Up Theology

Yes, I think I have messed-up theology.  Let me explain.

Support raising has been AMAZING.  We have been doing this full-time for a month now.  A month.  Believe me, that's not very long in the support world.  We had a lot to raise and thought, "Let's give it our best shot for 6 weeks.  After that, we need to get back to Orlando for Curt to start training for his new role. Maybe we can do short trips after that to try to raise whatever else we need."  And God has done SO much in that month.  People are getting back to us.  They want to meet.  When we meet, they want to support us.  Over and over and over.  Yes, we still have more support we need, but we are FAR past where we thought we ever could've been.

So, where does my bad theology come in?  I am waiting for the other shoe to drop: what is God buttering me up for?  What tragedy is He going to send my way? Are we going to move overseas and chaos is going to hit while He leans back, watches and says, "Yes, there is much to teach you"? He certainly couldn't be allowing support to go so well just to bless us.  I mean, I know God blesses people and delights in giving good gifts to His children.  I am just not one of those that He does that to.

And so, my heart, my fears and the lies that I have believed are being exposed.  Is God good?  Yes!!  Is He good to me?  I am not so sure.  Does God bless people?  Yes!!  Does He bless me?  Sure.  Sometimes.  But not abundantly.  Just in small ways.  To keep me humble.  Does He lavish His love on me?  Delight in me?  Rejoice over me with singing?  No, not me.  Other people, yes.  Me?  Nope.  He just spends His time trying to keep me in line.

Just as Satan did to Eve in the garden, he does with me: takes the truth and twists it slightly.  Yes, God is good but He is just not good to you. Yes, God loves His children and rejoices over them but He just doesn't feel that way about you.  The truth is there.  The truth just doesn't apply to me.

Oh, but half-truths are NOT truth at all! "But in my distress I cried out to the Lord; yes, I prayed to my God for help...my cry to Him reached His ears...He opened the heavens and came down;...He reached down from heaven and rescued me; He drew me out of deep waters...He rescued me because He delights in me."  Psalm 18

This is for me.

The peach festival at my parent's Grange

Celebrating my dad's 70th b-day!

What is a b-day celebration without "Pin the Tail on the Donkey"??