Job

No one should ever compare themselves to Job. Job was a guy who lost everything (house, car, kids, savings, health, the works). But he still clung to God. Sure, he screwed up in questioning God and God corrected him but he did ask forgiveness in the end.

But, in a small way, I want to compare myself to Job. No, I haven't lost everything. Yes, the kids are just fine. But I do wonder what Satan and God have been talking about with our family (see Job 1 for clarification).

As you know, I had a c-section 9 weeks ago Friday. That resulted in an amazing baby but did require some healing. Around week 2, I was really feeling well but still couldn't partake in much physically since it does take a good 5-6 weeks to heal. At week 6, I had surgery on my knee to repair my torn ACL and menisci. The surgery was much more intense than I realized and I was in a lot of pain for about a week. I have to be braced for a full 6 weeks and it's not fun watching my leg atrophy away. I don't know how much time it'll actually take to get my leg back to normal.

Then, on Sunday, I started to feel like I had really bad gas. Each time I had an attack, it got longer and more painful. Gas meds did nothing. I wound up in the ER all day yesterday because I couldn't stand the pain. Their best guess is that I have an ulcer. So now I'm on meds for that, waiting for them to work so I don't have to be in pain all the time. I feel like the couch has become my best friend.

I know, in the long run, it's all really insignificant. But while I'm in it, it feels huge. It feels like I am missing out on life with my kids. I can't run around and play with Carmen b/c I'm in a brace or in pain. He spends a lot of time reading with me on the couch but really he wants to play and I don't have that option. I feel like I'm missing out on this semester. It's already mid-February and I am so tired from not sleeping b/c of nursing/knee/ulcer, that I have barely enough to give to the girls that I meet with and I feel like they are getting shafted. And I feel like I am holding Curt back, as he has to be home a lot to help me or take care of the kids when I am unable to.

So, I wonder if Satan saw the stuff we were doing on campus and asked God's permission to throw some things at us. I know all things happen with God's permission so we have been talking a lot recently :). I have no answers yet but am determined to persevere.